Now that I get to glance back at my herstory – all the choices I’ve made that led here – I can acknowledge a pattern. Self love was missing from every scenario. I forgot to love myself. I think I thought it was selfish; the whole concept of self love. I think I thought I could get by without it. Or maybe I didn’t even know it existed. I lived concluding that others were more important than me and that no one could ever authentically care about me. After all, I was a leper right? I learned self care after a hard road of recovery from thinking I was unworthy.

The difference was purpose. When God stepped in, making me aware that purpose existed for my life, I found meaning.

Finding meaning was the single most important thing ever to happen for me.

Somewhere in the past was the fuel my future needed to matter. Significance came after surrender. Surrender to the notion that it all mattered. That every instance of my story had relevance for His story (history). I am supersedes I was. I was thinking there was nothing to do. No thing that needed my specific undivided attention. I Am, however, designed me for just that. Discovery of that specific task took time, energy, effort, healing, relaxation, prayer, Divine intervention. Conclusion?

Every step your past self took, from mistake to mis take that took you to the door of God has been cultivated into the specimen you have become. There are few who can see what you see. No one says what you say the way you say it, and few can translate the hearts you are called to the way you can. There is significance in each surrendered life. Meaning in each calling. Hope in each fingerprint.